Epp-ic Thoughts: Week 9

Kevin Epp

Kevin Epp

April 16, 2013

Junior Kevin Epp shares stories, knowledge and general lacrosse team news in his weekly blog entitled "Epp-ic Thoughts."

Epp is a two-year letterwinner and long stick defenseman for the Black Knights. He made his way to West Point from Naperville, Ill.

Army Lacrosse Fans -

Welcome to Week 9 of the blog.

Last week, I went over all the best celebrations on the team. Including, but not limited to, Garrett's Shooter McGavin-esque *double pistol* *hip thrust,* Matt Mezer's crab step, and Jimbo Moore's gator chomp. This past weekend when we played that other Academy at Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium, we saw a few more come out of the woodwork.

Kip "Landfill" Haddock scored a goal and promptly asked for his inhaler and a buffalo chicken quesadilla after the game. That's a unique choice in celebration style Kip, but impressive nonetheless. Fat Table forefathers Larry LoRusso, Tom Dalton, and John Adair are proud of you ... the next party pizza is on them. *golf clap*

Will Mazzone scored and reverted to the only celebration his Long Island brain could think of at the time, flexing his right bicep. Coach Mac spit all over his polo in awe. Will happily embodied the Long Island stereotype in those five seconds on television. I tell you what; it was absolute pandemonium in Stony Brook when he scored. I heard a mob flipped a car in front of American Burger and local restaurants put rigatoni on sale for the rest of the week. What a legend.

There were several other celebrations to be noted: Dave Tarsa's two-step, Alex Carros' waterboy style, Pat Brennan's head nod swag, Alex Newsome's "It's Christmas Morning" skip, and Tim Coll ... being Tim Coll. Jimbo Moore went absolutely nuts on his assist too.

But noting celebrations isn't the purpose of this blog. Up the hill at West Point and past Howze field, in the top corner of ODIA plaza, lies our locker room. Truxtun Lacrosse Center looks like a double-wide trailer home, and much like its West Virginian counterparts, has everything you may need. You see folks, the warm weather down in Maryland this weekend has me reminiscing about one thing ... Beach Truxtun. We still have a whole lot of season to play, but I would like to bestow some knowledge to you guys about one of the most crucial aspects of the team.

It is said that Beach Truxtun is where young men go to perish, only to be born again as beasts. In the depths of Truxtun Lacrosse Center, past the double doors, past the equipment room, past the managers' lockers, lays the old Steel Mill weight room. This place is better known for building men than physiques. Reason being, we have a multi-million dollar facility literally 200 yards from our locker room. But there are a select few on the team who prefer the rusted weights and Vietnam-era bench press to the state-of-the-art squat racks at Kimsey ... better known as "Flimsey" to the Steel Mill crew. As a young man, I watched the hair on my chest grow exponentially, and I give complete credit to Beach Truxtun ... and my horrific German/Irish genes. Some of the heroes of Beach Truxtun this year are: Tom Shade, Alex Van Krevel, Andrew Michalowski, Ehret Faircloth, Andy Boyd, Zeric Butters, and Jimbo Moore.

Tom Shade has slowly watched his biceps inflate and his legs shrivel since lifting at the Beach. The other day, I saw Ehret and Andrew bouncing a medicine ball off their domes, to which they claimed, "gotta prepare for the dog pound this weekend." That's commitment. Alex Van Krevel, simply put, mentally assassinates everyone in the weight room and forces them to lift more ... mainly Jimbo Moore. Zeric Butters tries to teach all of us workout techniques he learned at Arvin weight room, but we have never seen them before nor dare attempt his abstract lifts. Andy Boyd likes to lift and be present while we all lift because he was told in PMEE that's what good leaders do. If I forgot you, then out-bench Tom Shade and I'll reconsider.

Coach always likes to get his swoll on at the Steel Mill before games too. A recruit allegedly stumbled in there once when Coach was lifting and hasn't been seen since. Beach Truxtun is a man's game, so you had better tear that shirt off, forget about your stick skills, and focus on the circumference of your chest before you focus on your ground ball play.

As the motto of the Beach goes, "Put the women and children to bed, and go looking for dinner." Too easy.

Highlights of the Week

-The ball rolled into Marc Pesa's stick and launched itself to Brendan Buckley.

- Annapolis can make a mean Chicken Parm. Haha just kidding, stick to "cheese cakes and softball" or whatever you guys say down there. (That's what they say, right?)

-Alex Daly went nearly 100% on face-offs and earned Patriot League Rookie of the Week.

-John Glesener earned Patriot League Offensive Player of the Week.

-Kip Haddock, Alex Carros, and Dave Tarsa had their first goals of the season.

-Pat Hart played the entire game with a broken thumb ... officially making him the toughest person to ever come out of Martha's Vineyard.

-Vineyard Vines is designing a pair of bleached jeans in commemoration of Pat's sacrifice.

-That 2006 Alum at the tailgate. You da man.

-Don't forget to vote every single day for Brendan Buckley, our scholarly Senior CLASS Award finalist. Vote here http://www.seniorclassaward.com/vote/DI_lacrosse_2013/.

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