Kevin Epp To Author Lacrosse Blog This Spring

Kevin Epp

Kevin Epp

Jan. 30, 2013

Junior Kevin Epp shares stories, knowledge and general lacrosse team news in his weekly blog entitled "Epp-ic Thoughts." The first entry is now available below.

Epp is a two-year letterwinner and long stick defenseman for the Black Knights. He made his way to West Point from Naperville, Ill.

Epp-ic Thoughts – Blog Entry 1
Army lacrosse fans … welcome back to the 2013 season! It’s your favorite scout team hero, Kevin Epp. In past years, I have worn the number 21 on my jersey, but when I shed 50 pounds and shrunk five inches this summer, I was forced to change numbers. So, when you see me wearing number 31 and standing on the sidelines at UMass, don’t be alarmed … I’ll be back in no time crushing face-off wings.

When the list of possible diary-writing-people came to mind, the coaching staff and captains couldn’t think of anyone who has more time on their hands than yours truly. When I’m not perusing Youtube for videos and getting kicked off team distros for them, I’m either talking or thinking about talking. So this whole blog thing should work out quite nicely. But that’s enough about me … on to the good stuff.

This off-season proved to be one of the toughest and longest we’ve had in years. Our strength staff, the head of whom is most conveniently nicknamed “Satan,” decided sled workouts should be a mandatory team event held at least three times weekly. Along with this … apparently squats, rather than bicep curls, are better for you during beach season. This is a widely popular belief held throughout our strength staff, which shockingly doesn’t go over well with the Long Islanders … or better known as Patriots, 631, Golden Glove Winners, Italian Stallions, Warriors, or whatever self-fulfilling nicknames the folks from the rock (Long Island) give to themselves throughout the year.

This brings me to my next point … Long Islanders, and their monopoly on the esteemed “Lunch Box.” The Lunch Box is a cheap piece of tin, but don’t let that fool you; it represents nearly everything the Army lacrosse team stands for.  Every January, Coach Alberici and past Lunch Box veterans collaborate and decide on a new freshman to carry the Lunch Box. Commitment, grit, and a blue-collar work ethic are all aspects of someone who carries the Lunch Box. This young battle carries it with them everywhere they go … even out to practice at Michie Stadium. Coincidentally, three of the past four Lunch Box recipients have been from Long Island. The other, sophomore Billy “Barff” Baird, is fittingly from one of the most upscale private schools in Maryland … congratulations Loyola, you produced a winner.  Other Lunch Box recipients include:

Brendan Buckley - Lunch Box (Retired) 2010
When he’s not being the most socially affluent Cadet here at Army, Buck enjoys speaking in exaggerated Long-Island accents, pronouncing “coffee” incorrectly, scoring above a 4.0 GPA, and being selected as a potential All-American. Hailing from Massapequa, Long Island, this MLL-drafted defensemen is one of our three captains and insists on fist-pumping to every song in the locker room.

John “Chin” Burk - Lunch Box (Retired) 2011
This champion comes from Smithtown, Long Island. Known for being one of the hairiest individuals in lacrosse, this warrior has tallied three ground balls with his cleft chin alone and has cleared shoot houses at Buckner with his jaw line. He regularly forces freshmen to address him as “Platoon Sergeant” and upholds the standard in every way. Consistently ranking among one of the most blue-collar kids on the team, ole Chinny-Chin-Chin himself is a Lunch Box legend who is determined to keep the Lunch Box “in the family.” And by this, he means keep it all to the Long Islanders.

Billy “Barff” Baird - Lunch Box (Retired) 2012
As described previously, this prepster from Towson, Maryland, is a champ on and off the field. Known on the team as having one of the worst physiques, but quickest feet, he is a master of deception. Stay on your toes when he’s signing your autograph kids, he could very well swipe your merchandise from you.

Will Mazzone - Lunch Box 2013
Coming from Ward Melville, this Patriot embodies what the Lunch Box represents, and most importantly, our team motto “Everything Matters.” Mazz enjoys posting pictures from summer training events on social media and going to school functions in uniform. Will is most popular for having the most unique passing technique in the NCAA, comparable only to when a fifth grader picks up a stick for the first time and throws vertically over his head.

These veterans are determined to keep the Lunch Box in the Long Island family. Conspiracy theories of bribing Coach Alberici with food and money have been conceived; however these are all hearsay and up until this point have proven to hold no validity.

Highlights From The Week:

-Pat Brennan scored two goals in our scrimmage against Penn State, to which he responded, “Sick, sick, nice, nice, nice.”

-Will O’Donnell passed the ball to Penn State’s goalie twice, and scored both times.

-Matt Mezer has called the Boston Cannons for a possible mistake on not being drafted … still waiting for a call back.

-Jimbo Moore had a mullet in high school … future blog entries to follow on this.

Hope to see you all at Michie Stadium Feb. 13 for our home opener against Manhattan.

31.

 

 

 

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